Us roz tumne apni pareshaniyon me ghir ke kah diya..
"mera grah tumlogon ko lag gaya.."
tab se anginat baar tumhare ye shabd mere kaano me goonj chuke hain aur mujhe andar tak jhakjhor chuke hain..
grah?
Tumne to grahan se nikal kar hume chamakaya hai...
phir ye kaise kaha tumne..
grahon ka kaala saya jab ghabrahat deta hai...
to tumhara naam lene bhar se hi mann me roshni bhar jati hai...
phir ye kaise kaha tumne...
ek nahi hazar grahon se ladi ho tum..
apne raksha mantr ke kavach se hamesha humein baandh kar rakha hai tumne..
phir ye kaise kaha tumne...
grahon ne kai khel khele tumhare saath, akele joojh kar unse jeeti ho tum..
3 ungliyon ko thaam kar har raat ka safar tay kiya hai tumne..
aaj wo 3 haath tumhe sambhalne ko taiyar hain...
phir ye kaise kaha tumne..
aur jahan tak tumhare grahoan ka lagna hai to apne grah to hamesha hamare saath rakhna..
tabhi to aane wale har andhere ko hum tumhare grahon ki roshni se cheer payenge...

Wo samay bhi tha jab akele sone ke khayal se bhi darr lagta tha...

Ab to akela hona aadat si hoti ja rahi...

Khaalipan kuchh is tarah mere saath rahne laga hai...

ki, mere aas paas ke log mujhe achhe nahi lagte...

Bheed me ghabrana to shuru se hi aadat thi...

Par, bheed me koi dikhe hi nahi aisa ab hone laga hai...

Shor to shuru se hi khalta tha...

Par, aawazon ki bheed me kuchh na sunai dena...ye ab hone laga hai...

Hasee to jaise gum gai hai kahin...

Wo jo chehre pe rahti ha har waqt, Use khud aaine me dekh ke darr jati hoon...

Ye to logon ko dikhane ke liye hai ki main khush hoon...

Par, khalipan ne mujhme "mujhe" chhoda hi nahi...

Darti hoon kahin khud ko hi na apni jhoothi hasee se samjhati rah jaaoon...

Bhram me ulajh ke...

Shayad...

main akele mein ghut ghut ke mar jaaoon...

E'one thinks...She is a big girl..

But... she needs someone to hold her hand...

E'one appreciates...She is mature enough to understand what this world is made up of...

But... she dreams of a world where one doesn't need to be careful...

E'one believes...She is a strong girl as she never lets anyone know what she is going through...

But...she loses herself when she is with her loved ones...

E'one sees...She never loses her smile...

But...she looks for the twinkle in her eyes...

Thats life...nothing is the way you think...appreciate...believe...or see...

Nor is "SHE"...

I know, I am a big girl...

I know, I have to be strong...

I know, I am going to pursue "Our Dream"...

I know, 2 years will fly so soon that we won't even realize...

I know, this had to happen one day...

I know all this...But at the same time...

I am your same lil khushi who used to sit and not sleep when it was bhai's turn to sleep beside you...

I am the same who used to seek your attention by kissing you when you got busy in dressing up bhai...

I am the same who used to come running whenever you came school to take me home....

Mamma...

I know, I will never grow and alwaz be your lil girl...

I know, I will never be strong and alwaz need you by my side...

I know, I will alwaz feel like running away and coming back to you...

I know, these 2 years will be the longest for me...

I know, I don't want this to happen..

:( :( :(

When things go wrong and I start fighting with God,

he plays smart...

he makes me think about all the special things I have in my life

and I start thanking him...

That's not fair God...

You are mine,

still I can't fight with you...

"Rimjhim ke tarane le k aayi barsaat
Yaad aai kisi se wo pahli mulaqaat"

Nahi...Nahi...I din't recall any first meeting with anyone...I am just associating Rain with memories through these lines...
Almost everyone has a memory associated with rain...and I am no exception... aur abhi its raining outside so just reliving "my moments" of rain...

Memory 1 - (some 15-16 years back) Gaya -
I and bhai loved to go to Mrs. Naha's (our tuition teacher) place during rainy season...we used to force our rickshaw-wala "dukkhan bhaiya" to take the route which we called "Thanda wala raasta..." (coz it was covered with trees) where there was a b'ful house which we called "sheesha wala ghar" (coz the doors and windows were all made of glasses) and don't know how but we believed it to be Sushmita Sen's house... ;) {Uff this house has nothing to do with rain...U see..The memory lanes have no "no entry boards" but now I will stick to "Rain" )
So going to Mrs. Naha's place in rainy season was full of masti...The first xcitement we used to have was of wearing rain coat..Then on our way we used to deliberately drop our things on road and before dukkhan bhaiya got down to pick them up we used to jump from the rickshaw and njoi doin "chhai chhappa chhai" in water...
Memory 2 - Patna (when i was in St. Michael's)
Whenever it rained heavily and Mamma wanted me to not to go to school..I alwaz fought with her giving all sorts of xplanation that Why it was verrrrrrrrrrrry important to go to school on dat day only...Smtyms I used to succeed but many a times mamma ka gussa hi jeetta tha...
I just loved to go to school jis din baarish hoti thi...I have no reasons for that, bas I loved that...

Memory 3- Related to Archana (My friend)
Jab bhi baarish hoti thi she used to say "baap re kitni tez "Varsha" ho rahi hai..." uska baarish ko varsha kahna - funny lagta tha...and I used to laugh on that e'tym (I know it doesn't make any sense but friends ke saath non-sense baaton par hi hasee aati hai...)

Pune - Rain & Memories...
June 2005 - I came to Pune with Maa to take admission over here...It used to rain heavily and continuously...Beauty was all around But I din't njoi coz I was sad- mamma admission ke baad humko yahan chhod k chali jati... :( Poor me...High fever, Rona dhona sab peak pe tha...
Phir mamma chali gai... Those days I hated rain...roz kapda dhona padta tha wo bhi khud se...ghar ganda hota tha..thand lagti thi...sab bura bura tha...
achha lagta tha sab par bas weekend par...
Weekend - Saurabh ka aana mumbai se...humlog ka bhai se milne NDA jana...wahan tab tak baithna jab tak visiting hours khatm nahi hota tha...phir lautte time kahin ruk ke kuchh khana...Us din pune ki baarish bahut achhi lagti thi par weekend khatm hote hi phir sab bura bura ho jata tha..
Phir mamma aa gai...when days used to b tough to baarish irritating lagti thi aur jab mood achha hota tha to baarish bas bollywood songs ki tarah lagti thi...
Par kuchh bhi ho...There are many "my moments of rain" here that have special place in my heart...

Baarish me college jana (26kms) aur kabhi college se bhaagna...:)
Ghar pe Patna ke maurya lok ke dry chilli chicken ko yaad karte hue plan banana ki kya khana chahiye...
Apni hi balcony me chhata le k photoshoot...
Anku ke saath competition ki baarish se related kaun fb status me better gaana likhega... " Nahi didi ye tum nahi likhogi ye hum likhne wale..." aur jeet hamesha meri...

"Kitni baatein yaad aati hain...tasveerein si ban jati hain.... "
One month and I will leave pune...Thank you God for these rains in which I am reliving my moments of rain and also treasuring many new memories...jaise Chhota ke saath bas bheegne ke liye scooty se airport road par drive...

Rain rain don't go away... :)

The memory lanes have no "NO ENTRY" boards... then why do we get caught and are made to pay the fine of tears when we enter some of them...